My name is Agalia Baker and I’ve been a nurse and APRN for nearly 40 years. I’ve worked in many areas of nursing from medical/surgical intensive care to hospice. I loved every aspect and phase of nursing. Then about five years ago, my earth shifted on its axis as I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn’t know Human Design at that time and I really wish I did.
I’ve spent many years working my hardest to be the best nurse, wife, and mother I could be. All the time feeling like I was not enough. I’ve always struggled in personal relationships and felt misunderstood. I had people telling me that I wasn’t being “real" and that I wasn’t "admitting to my true feelings.” I was so confused and did not know what they were wanting from me. I didn’t understand why it seemed like they never could see the way I felt inside. It seemed that everyone had their minds made up that they knew who I was better than I knew myself. For years, I thought I didn’t even know or trust what I felt because of these experiences.
I threw myself into mastering my work and I loved nursing. It was the JOY of my life. I fought so hard to be worthy of love and recognition. I wanted to fit in and be loved. I just wanted my life to have meaning. Then, breast cancer stepped in and suddenly, I was no longer the nurse, but the patient, helpless against the horrors of my own imagination.
Developing breast cancer when you’ve dedicated your life living and teaching the healthiest lifestyle possible is devastating. I had no risk factors, I had nothing to point to the source of the cancer. I felt as if all my work and training had betrayed me. I questioned my self-worth and my value as a healer. “Why should anyone listen to me? I developed cancer.”
I desperately wanted to hear the voice of God and for HIM to tell me what I was supposed to do. Should I follow Western Medicine or Alternative Therapy options? Should I have surgery or not? Should I give chemo a chance or not? The list was overwhelming! Almost everyone had an opinion on what I should do, but all the opinions were different. I searched for peace, but all I could feel was terror. I was facing my mortality, surgical mutilation, pain, fear of the unknown, and in my case because I am a nurse, fear of the KNOWN. I knew all too well what was in store for me.
I was told that cancer is anger turned inward, which I hope no one ever says those words to anyone diagnosed with cancer. It is well known that stress and emotional pain does lead to disease, but telling me that I brought this cancer upon myself only hurt me more. I felt so isolated and that no one cared enough to see the real me.
I am a survivor now and I thank Human Design for it. Human Design came into my life a few years after diagnosis, but the first blessing I received was to learn that I was not broken. I just didn’t know how my life was designed. I was trying too hard to be what I thought everyone else thought I should be. I was afraid to be myself.
The second gift Human Design gave me was the ability to know how to make the best decisions for myself. Looking back over the years, I realize that I had unknowingly used my strategy to make those tough decisions about my health. Today I rest assured that regardless of the outcome, I did what was best for ME.
The third gift of Human Design was to unravel the mystery of my 5/1 Profile. Suddenly, every interaction of my life made sense. It gave my life purpose. Human Design can give your life purpose, too.
I went through hell on a journey toward getting well. You do not have to go through your healing journey alone.
I can help you to learn how to make confident decisions. You can seek out and release your emotional pain in safety. You can learn to accept and love yourself as you are. You can find freedom from unrealistic expectations to live a full and vibrant life.
There is a way to let go of the madness and become the highest expression of the person you are. I am here to help. I’ll walk right by your side.
Helping people get well is my passion. Helping you to find your answers to vibrant health is my mission.
RN, MNSc, FNP-BC-retired
Human Design Specialist, Level 4
Healing By Human Design Practitioner, Level 2